How to choose what lingerie to get for her
(But also what to get for him or even yourself)

So, you want to purchase some lingerie, but you don’t know where to start. Lingerie can be one of the most romantic, intimate gifts you can give, especially on that extra special occasion. However, it’s only romantic if you think about the woman you’re getting it for. Giving the wrong lingerie can make her feel embarrassed, insulted or just plain disgusted! This step-by-step guide will help you prevent these misunderstandings, and instead allow you to share the gift with her: perhaps more often than not.

Before you go any further, if you don’t know a bustier from a babydoll, check out our lingerie glossary.

Remember: The lingerie is NOT for you.

Like I said before, if you don’t think about her in the buying process, she may not like the gift. I know you think it’s for your pleasure, but then the gift would be for you and not for her. If your gal refuses to wear it, then it’s a waste of money, time, and you’ll most likely have to buy something else to make up for it. So, want to figure out something that you’ll both like? Follow these four easy steps:

1. What are you celebrating?

The gift needs to correlate with the occasion. If you’re giving it as a birthday or Christmas present, a silky robe or sexy gown would be more appropriate (especially if you’re opening up gifts around other people). A babydoll, camisole, chemise or teddy makes for a more intimate gift, and therefore, should be saved for occasions like Valentine’s Day or an anniversary.

Maybe you just want to add some excitement to your sex life. Or maybe you don’t have a reason at all. Whatever it is, you want to make sure it goes with her personality. If she’s more modest, I suggest checking out the babydolls or chemises. Or if she’s more sexually adventurous, you could try something in leather or vinyl. You could also try a corset and garter belt or try some role-playing with a sexy costume. (See How to Use Sexy Costumes).

2. How will it be worn?

It’s important to think about the purpose of the lingerie. Will it be worn just in the bedroom? Or will it be worn during the day under her clothes? She might be willing to wear something less comfortable for a rendezvous in the bedroom, but not all day at work. At work, something like a bra set might be nice or just a sexy pair of panties.

Don’t forget that sexy clothes are a perfect compliment to lingerie. They can be worn to a club or out for a night on the town.

3. Getting to know your lover — from a slightly different perspective.

In order to get the kind of lingerie that she truly wants, you’re going to have to investigate her underwear drawer or closet. You will be searching for her size, style and color preference — all of which will help you to make a more precise choice.

Part A: Size

You need to know the size of the lingerie you want to purchase. Start by finding her bras, and look at the tag. It will have a number and a letter, like 36D. Just so you know: The number refers to the measurement directly below the breasts. The letter represents cup size, which is the size of the breast itself (A’s are smaller than D’s).

Next, look for some other pieces of lingerie, like a chemise or a robe. These will usually be sized as small, medium, large, extra-large, etc. But some have numbers related to hip size. If this is the case, refer to the sizing chart below:

After you’ve gathered sizes from multiple items, choose the size that occurs most often. If you need more help, check out our size guide by clicking here.

Part B: Style

Now, look at the style of the lingerie or clothes. If all of her panties are briefs, she may not wear a thong (however, she may be looking to try something new). If she doesn’t wear leather or vinyl or things with animal prints, you should probably not start out with these kinds of items. Try introducing them gradually.

Part C: Color

Finally, note the color of the lingerie and clothes. This may seem like an insignificant detail, but to her it’s the icing on the cake. Some colors might look better on her than others. And even though, you may think you know her favorites, it never hurts to double check. (She may have only worn that bright orange outfit last month because it was Halloween.) If you’re buying lingerie for her to wear to work, think about how certain colors (like black) won’t go well under a light-colored outfit.

4. How much to spend?

Remember that cheap lingerie makes anyone feel cheap and may not make it through all the activities you’ve conjured up in your head. The good news is that high quality lingerie does not have to be expensive. Lingerie Diva offers a basic babydoll and panty set for about $20. You can also check out the Deal of the Week (found on the right side of the home page) for an even better bargain.

Now that you’re ready to make a decision, remember that you can’t go wrong with one of our featured products on the home page. Or you can sort any of our lingerie categories to find the most popular items.